For anyone who wants to know the latest insanity in my life...check out Dragonswhispers. It is too much to go into twice...lol!

I have gotten a little painting done... not as much as I wanted, but more than I thought I would.

Here's one for the guys...













And one for the ladies....


















With time short I will just post a few more, and try to be back soon...

Some wildflowers....


















The family...



















May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

A large gap here....

Well, I can see that all the good intentions in the world do not always win out over life simply getting in the way. I had thought I would have lots of time to blog. Hey it's not like I have an outside job...so I should have loads of time, right?

Somehow, that is not happening. I suppose all I can do is try.

Shortly after Bubba came home from his respite care, he had a doctor's appointment; just a regular checkup with his neurologist, a short discussion of his behavior, and a change in his meds to hopefully increase the good behavior and and decrease the combativeness and angry outbursts.

I had told you of some of the escapades last time, and that was before we knew the why. Let's just say it got much worse before it got better...but knowing WHY helped us put the Blame where it was due...sigh...but could not erase what happened!

Unfortunately, for all concerned the drugstore, made a small error, and gave him the wrong meds. Any of you who are familiar with a true ADHD child/adult, probably know that since you give them speed to slow them down...a tranquilizer can have the opposite effect than it does on the rest of the world. It tends to make them more hyper than ever...in fact it sends them climbing the walls!! And usually send you with them.

All is better now!! He is on the correct meds...and they are better! I have a caregiver again, and some time to get me back together!! Life is so much better than it was for awhile!

Anyway, I still feel like I am recovering from that. It definitely made for an 'interesting' time...NOT.

Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season are upon us, once again. And if we listen to the stores...they have been since long before Halloween this year. Somehow it has really gotten out of hand...it is so ridiculous to me. A month before maybe....but not 3...that is just dumb.

I do have good news, I have made a new friend!! So nice!!

Well, I have much to do for tomorrow, but I did want to let you know I am still here. Weary, but here!!

Here's a poem for your perusal....


OK God...

Ok God....here is the question:
why Job.....why pain and suffering?
why the total unfairness of it all?

I mean, yeah....I guess I understand,
some of it anyway.....a little bit, but
why the weak and why more for them?

I see that even the lowest of us
have a saying...don't kick the dog
when he is already down...right?

Then why....why...why do You
let them have it again, and
again...right cross and then left.

Speaking of crosses...man...
you sure gave Your Son one of those
I mean....Your own Son?....wow!

I know You never said that life
would be fair or anything.....but
it seems to me that this is a bit much.

I do know that I do not understand
I do not comprehend......the depth
of Your hurting those who love You.

You answer, with one hand giving,
and then the other one takes away,
and what have they got then.....nada?

You say the meek will inherit the earth,
but what is gonna be left of it....when
the strong ones destroy it first??

And blessed are those who mourn...
when is it, exactly, that they are
supposed to get and find that comfort?

I know....I know....I am no better than
the lowest of low....and who am I to
question anything that you do or say;

I just simply do not get it....I really do not
do not see the justice or mercy or joy
that is supposed to be a part of the package;

we laugh, we cry, we live.....and then we die.
And You,....what do You do while we
are down here doing and going thru' it all?

What is your part in all of this.....You
are supposed to be a father.....who loves
and cherishes us as beloved sons;

You even let Your own Son die....in pain
hurting and beaten....crucified with criminals
and nothing to ease His suffering either.

It seems like all I see is justice for the strong,
and a big mess and wallow for the little
guy who sits down at the bottom of the heap.

I mean...You are the one who said it would
be worth it all in the end?....which end is that
You were talking about...ours or the world's?

Blessed are the peacemakers...or so You tell us;
but the only blessing I see is for those who use
the guns someone laughingly named that.

So answer me this.....just one answer....
when will it end?....with death for us all,
or just some of us....or will you intervene?

Be still You say?....quiet down with the questions...
just listen to your heart....and hear that your soul
rejoices in the Lord....be still and KNOW who You are...

Are we too busy to listen....too busy asking why
to hear....too full of self-pity to feel the love...
too blinded by the world to let in the Light?

~susan


Happy Thanksgiving to all...we all have so much to be thankful for!!

The Joys of Life....

I wish I had been able to write earlier, but between my dad's health, and the return of the manchild...things have been crazier than anticipated. Dad seems to be doing better; they are all moved into a seniors apartment. Dad says a few mornings at first my mom thought they were in a motel, on a trip. I imagine it would be hard to move after 55 years in the same place. So many memories in each piece of that house...even tho' alot has been updated, I still remember how it was...from the time I was 3. Many changes...some for us...some because of us. I remember getting a new ceiling in the living room...that was because I was in the attic, and my foot missed the rafters, and it went thru' the insullation and the sheetrock. I don't think I was very popular for a bit after that!

My son's wedding was a wonderful break for Bob and I! The kids were so cute, and so in love...they were just lost in each other the whole day...and still are. I remember feeling that way...actually still do...I love my hubby more today, than I did when we got married in 1999. I am very lucky! It was nice to dance for hours together!

Things here since Bubba's return have not gone as planned. He came home a little bit less combative, but with a total disregard for obedience. He does what he wants to, when he wants to; refusing all limits and boundaries. That does not make things very easy for me...in any way, since I cannot make him do anything anymore. I have to really pick and choose my battles, and even then I may not win. I have had to installed keyed deadbolts on all the locks...and am wondering about the windows next. He left at 3 am one night, in the pouring down rain, and walked almost two miles up the road. A very nice gentleman found him when he left for work, and managed to get him inside his garage out of the rain. They could understand some of what he said...but not all, because of his speech problems. They could understand that his name was Bubba, and that he wanted to go home...but not where he lived. So sad to say, they felt they had to call the police. They came and got me about 5am...so much fun, when I got there they helped me to get him into the truck. So until I could get to the store to get new locks, we slept tied together, so I would wake up if he moved.

Well...I just got my answer on the windows...lol! He was just knocking at the door. He put his chair outside...and then climbed over the sill onto the chair....sigh! Guess I get out the nails or screws and fix that. God love him, he is inventive!

The worst part is he has been home now for a month now, and my home services have not resumed yet. So it is just me, 27/7...trying not to complain, but I don't like being locked in the house with him all the time. Thank goodness my husband came home last weekend, after I begged. It gave me a bit of a break; but it is so hard on him, so I really need other help.

I will leave you with this thought, in honor of my son's wedding!


OUR LOVE

We said our vows and pledged
our love; exchanging rings, we
gave our promise to each one.
Never knowing what would follow,
we made a choice to live united;
good or bad, easy or hard, we
chose to join and fight together.
We watch as one, a dawning day;
hold our hearts till our last breath.
Our dreams are shared, our goals
we dare to make again as new;
for now we strive to form a whole,
untried, we brave the way ahead.
Only God knows our future trials,
what we will have to face there;
whether peace and calm await, or
continuing tribulations are in store.
Yet, we can triumph, in unity,
our continuity and friendship,
synchronized by our devotion.


~susan

Time sure flies when you are NOT havinig fun too....

Things here have been totally chaotic...it is so hard to explain all that happens in my life. Some out there that have special needs children would understand, tho' each child is different. With Bubba's blend of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, ADHD, and autism...well, I can say that we rarely have a dull day! And if it is quiet, it is only because he is asleep, and getting the energy for another onslaught...lol!

Let's just say I have had very little time to paint lately. The last few days, I have just painted...since his behavior is not much different either way...sigh!

I'd like to show you some of what I have finished up; it is nice to have a few of them off my easel.
16x16 acylics on wrapped canvas
11x14 acylics on wrapped canvas
16x16 acylics on wrapped canvas













I have shown you some of the main challenges we do at Wet Canvas. One smaller one, that I did just a few for, was different colored still lifes. The one for blue, I just finished. It has been awhile since we did them, but there was something just "not right". I am posting the ones that did not go well too...maybe it will make the ones that turned out okay look better...lol! Still lifes are just not my favorite things, but good practice fot other things. So I keep trying.

The first that I tried was red...and I liked it...12x12 acylics on paper
















then orange...sigh...
8x10 acrylics on paper













then yellow...ouch...
8x10 acrylics on wrapped canvas
















then green...?....
8x10 acrylics on black artboard














and last was blue...I am proud of this one.
11x14 acrylics on wrapped canvas













I guess two out of 5 is not too bad. I admit, my heart was not in most of them.

Here is one he let me paint outdoors...while he was playing with his bike...it ended when it began to rain. It is 16x16 acrylics on a wrapped canvas...
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Have a great week! Hope to be back more often now!