Monday, July 27, 2009

Should I have a Blue Light Special???

Another late night, and not much really accomplished tho'...painting when you are tired is not a good thing sometimes. Tho' once in awhile, if your head shuts down, and your 'soul' takes over you can get some really good things.

It has been slow here with no shows, and Dunn's restaurant closed I had about 40+ paintings hung there. So far my online sights have produced alot of compliments, but few sales. Thought about putting this up and having a 20% off sale Maybe people would be drawn to the I used to be. Nothing like a sale to make me happy!! I have been known to buy things that I don't use or eat...if the price was really good.

What do you think? Do you think it would work, or is that psychology all played out? If anyone is reading I will let you choose
As I said, last night was not too productive...but sometimes when you 'just paint' you get some good stuff. We have a weekend challenge at Wet Canvas...with a technical time limit. I took it literally when I first started trying some...
Here are a few that were quick, and just seemed to flow...most were done in a few hours, with very few tweaks.

This one was for a weekend event at Wet Canvas, where you try to see what you can get done in 2 hrs....8x10 acrylics on canvas board.

This was in a composition class....I still need to work on the curve of the river/stream...but I am pretty happy with how it turned out. 8x10 acrylics on paper

Another one that truly palette....8x10 acrylics on paper...sold before it was dry.

Another from the weekend challenge--12x12 acrylics on paper...sold at Christmas.

This one was an experiment with black artboard and some new colors of paint. 11x14 acrylics on artboard.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A day with no results....

In two afternoons, I dismantled most of the 'imitation' (no splitting, just logs)rail fence that I put up a couple years ago. I learned that the settlers must have used hardwook, not southern pine, because it rots...sigh. Oh well, it looked nice for awhile; even tho' it was a pain to try and mow around. Now I will have an easier time mowing. That I also did, and learned that with the new mower, you could actually mow everything in one day. I did about 3/4's of it in 5-6 hours, but in all but about 3 acres, the 'grass' (green weeds look like grass if you don't look about 3-4 ft. high, which took a bit longer.

I did get most of it done before the rain. It seems like the rain this summer has been on any day my husband was home, or whenever I had time. So it has been pretty hit and miss. Of course having 2 mowers break down, AGAIN, did not help. They were two old rebuilt riding mowers, that just are too tired to work any more...and too expensive to keep fixing 2-3 times a year. So we rented one from Aaron's. So far it works pretty good!

I learned something else...after a year of mostly inactivity, other than painting, and housekeeping, my body did not tolerate what I did as well as it could have. By last night I could barely move, and was pretty tired. So, I went to be early and slept late.

I had some plans for today...but most of them fell thru'. I was going to mail the 9 paintings for an exchange some friends of mine are doing....but I misplaced one of the painting. I had almost all of them packaged, and ready to go, when I realized one was missing...I looked all over the post office, ran out to the truck and looked but could not find it. By this time, it was 10 minutes past closing, and I was out of time. I figured I had somehow put two in one or left it at home. When I went back out to the truck, where poor, impatient Bubba was waiting...I found it had slid off the seat and into the compartment on the door (I forgot to look there...sigh). So now I will have to run to the post office again in the morning. There will be 9 disappointed least they are good friends and will understand!

I would have been at the Post office in time to get everything ready, if I had thought about unhooking the trailer yesterday. I had laid the tailgate down because some of the logs were 17-19 feet long, and rested them in the bed of the pickup, and the trailer. So there I am, nice skirt and top...pulling and breaking rotten logs till we could get the tailgate up and unhook the trailer. That only took about 30 minutes...sigh. Of course, all the makeup had sweated off by then, my hair, well, it was soaked.

So nothing really got done. We went to Sonic and came home, and in just a little bit we are going to bed! I am wiped out. I just did not want to go another day with no post...since I promised to be better about posting.

I still have not decided about the watermelon festival...hard to decide with the price of a booth, and the probablity of over 105+ degree heat to deal with...and no guarantee of selling anything.

But here are some of the paintings I did for last year...which I did not attend do to my son's wedding. I did not want to just do paintings of watermelons....I wanted to be a bit different...hope you enjoy them....

The Kitties Picnic.....8x10 wrapped canvas....multiple references

Loading the Boxcar.....8x10 wrapped canvas....From a photo in the early 1900's when Water Valley was a switchinig center for the Illinois Central Railroad...they hired "small" children (based on weight) to put authenticity stickers on the watermelons that met the standards; they had to be light because they stacked the watermelon only 3 deep cushioned with hayso they would not break or bruise, an adult's weight also might bruise the melons. They made about 50¢ a day...which for some families was a lifesaver. These watermelon were sought as far away as New York City, where some restaurants would only serve watermelon from Water Valley, MS.

The Watermelon Truck.....8x10 wrapped canvas....from my imagination

Loading the Train.....8x10 wrapped canvas....Another photo from the early 1900's showing how the trucks would line up at the boxcars to be handed into the car, just out of sight would have been a scale to weigh them...but rarely did the man at the door need that to know if it was acceptable...most knew as soon as the melon was in their hands. Children would hang out, waiting for a reject, or the rare dropped melon which was then fair game.

Baby's Watermelon.......8x10 canvas paper

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The weekend brought joy...

I’ve often written in my poetry, about the little girl inside, of me, of all of us, in a sense. Well, I feel as tho’ she has stopped crying for now…she found the person who had always made her feel safe this weekend. The adult had already found someone to care for her, after many empty years; but it seems as tho’ the inner child, the one who was always so afraid, and was so hurt, had needed this other person. I re-connected with an old and dear friend, after 40+ years….amazing, I am not sure how or why it happened, but it has made me very happy, and filled something inside of me that has been empty for a long, long time.

I also met another important someone, but that I will save for later….I want to savor it for awhile!!

For whatever reasons, I have spent the last year or so, remembering things, I thought I had forgotten. So many memories…I am guessing it is all that has happened with my parents….but who knows. All I know is, to paraphrase Luke 15…” for this one was dead to me, and is alive again, he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.” Seminary aside (yes, to the astonished, I went to seminary, but before women went on to be ordained), I do know what the original meaning was/is; but it seemed an appropriate thought.

The world is filled with double meanings, and things that can be taken different ways, depending on how you shine the light on them. Perhaps, that is my artistic side, interpreting what I see…when I can see so many different ways to see thingsl Today is a day to leave you with a poem….and a picture….some would see it as depressing…..some as hopeful. I will leave the interpretation to you.


Maybe I need too much, for comforting,
and have too many tears to be dried;
maybe I am too empty, for satisfying,
too filled with holes to be patched again;
maybe I was not meant to be happy, or
I suppose I should have never tried to be;
maybe I ask too much, for anyone to give,
and have needs that no one could ever meet;
maybe I am too broken to ever be fixed,
too far gone for life to return to;
maybe I have been alone too long,
entombed in life, maybe I am dead;
maybe I was hurt too much to find the way,
bleeding out my soul's worth in pain;
maybe I have been silent, so very long,
that I will never have a voice to speak.
I hate that I am not whole for You, yet
I find that is even worse, for me to know,
for I find myself sliding back down
into the hell where I was before.
It is not fair to ask You to hold me,
when I can never be held enough;
it is not fair to look to You for love,
when there is no way for me to receive it;
it is not fair that You make me laugh,
when I cannot find any joy inside of me;
it is not fair that You should give to me,
when I am too selfish to give in return;
it is not fair to make You responsible,
to fix the things that others destroyed;
it is not fair to expect Your company,
when I do not know how to be with You;
it is not fair to ask for comforting,
for the child within who cries out in need;
it is not fair for me to try and talk to You,
of things that I do not know how to say.
I hate that I cannot be what You need, yet
I have no way to be what I need me to be;
for I fear that I am becoming the past,
with no chance to ever find a new future.
I thought that I had a second chance at life,
instead I find another way to mess things up;
I thought I had the strength to be strong,
yet I feel weaker than before I tried;
I thought I had the knowledge to fight,
that knowing would be enough to overcome,
and I find myself on my knees in pain;
I thought that love would be enough to
conquer all, yet I am the one who is beaten.
I thought I had dealt with all the nightmares,
and laid their ugly heads to rest forever;
I thought that I was free to be Yours for life,
and instead I seem to be Your ball and chain;
I thought that I had found enough joy to last
for a whole lifetime, but where is it now;
I thought we would become as one, united,
and instead I drive You further away every day.
I was found, but now I am lost, and the hell
of it is, I do not know where I am anymore;
I cannot ask for directions or even call for help;
unless You find me again, I fear that I am done.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

I'm up, which is a start...

For some reason I have been having alot of trouble sleeping, and making myself go to bed at a decent hour. There have been way too many nights of 3:00, 4:00, 5:00 am bedtimes...which is making it increasingly difficult to get as much rest as I need. I thought that if I could just get Bubba back to sleeping nights, instead of wandering, that I would just go back to my routine. I spent so many nights in a half-sleep, listening for him, trying to make sure he was not up and getting into things....or escaping from the house. There must have just been too many nights of staying up till he went to sleep, that my rhythms got as messed up as his had been. Now he is sleeping the night thru', even if he takes a daytime nap, and I am the one who stays up all night...sigh! The problem with that is that I cannot take naps like he does. I am really going to have to work at this!!

I was looking back, and trying to see what paintings I had shown you, and which ones, I had not. I have been painting....and doing new things with texture. Am looking forward to buying some more different mediums so I can experiment more! Lots of amazing effects that you can get!!

One thing I have done, over the last 6 some trading. First a group of us in the acrylics forum, decided to do ATC's which is Artist Trading Cards....just like baseball cards, only they are paintings....tiny little paintings. You can trade them with other artists, some people use them for business cards, some put them in mailings....their uses are endless. There are people who actually sell them as tiny originals. They are a bit bigger than some miniatures...which are an amazing type of painting!!! People do them small enough for doll houses, and others consider anything smaller than 5x7 to be a miniature; part of the definition lies in painting something 6 times smaller than it would normally be painted.

The following ones are those that I did...

The last two are copies of masters, that I had always wanted to do, and since I am not selling but giving....I could do them.

They were alot of fun to do....but I sure had to use a magifying glass on alot of the detail. I have decided tho' that it is easier to paint very small, like these, or large. I used to paint alot of 8x10's, but now find I like painting large.

Tomorrow, I will show you some of my larger works. Until then, I hope all of you have a wonderful day!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Happy Birthday, Blogger!!

In honor of this Blogger birthday, which is next month, and their interest in why we are blogging, I not only started to think about it, but decided to participate.

I restarted to blog, in 2008, I did it for a number of reasons. I still wanted to do what I had wanted in 2004, I needed another outlet for my stress, and, being honest, I need to sell some of my artwork. I always feel like I am not contributing to the household, by staying home. (Tho' everyone we know argues that it is more important for Bubba, our special needs son, to have me home to care for him, than for me to work.) Yet, it is for him, and because of my husbands health, that I want/need to work. I want us to have a home we cannot loose, even if Bob has to go on disability and I want Bubba to have a home where he can feel secure. There are no beds for him at the moment, and if he has to stay at home, which we would love, then I am going to need more help, and I need a place that is set up to be more accessible and protective for him. No one is going to give that to that leaves me to make my dream come true.

I am hoping that one day, selling my artwork, will allow me to satisfy that need in me to 'do my share', and create that dream. My hours must be flexible, because I never know how my day will go. It can be calm, with a wonderful son who can be amusing and alot if fun...or it can be combating a 205 lb. angry 5-8 yr, old in a 22 yr old body. I do have a lady from the state who comes in a few hours a day, to give me some relief...and some time to paint, if it is a good day for Bubba. I never know when one of Bob's heart attacks, will be the last. I still don't have as much time as I wish, and alot more stress in my life than I would I have combined my two blogs into one, in hopes that I can keep up better.

Back in 2004, I started a blog, planning on sharing my thoughts and feelings with others; I was frustrated and irritated with all the contention that still existed over President Bush's first election, let alone his second. I was upset that it seemed as tho' everyone was doing their best to forget and ignore 9/11. My personal feelings, as in the song by Darryl Worley.

"...They took all the footage off my T.V.
Said it's too disturbing for you and me
It'll just breed anger that's what the experts say
If it was up to me I'd show it everyday..."

There is still nothing more irritating to me, than people telling me how or what to think, how to feel about things, or what I can and cannot do. I suppose, somehow it sets up a challenge in my mind. Normally I am a rather shy person with low self-esteem. I have clinical depression, and it tends to make me appear to be introspective and weak-willed. I tend to vacillate on making decisions, and absolutely hate confrontation.

Over the years, I have learned to compensate for alot. I do what I have to do, to survive in this world, to raise my children, to get thru' all that I have had to face...from a child's suicide attempt to the false accusations of another, from the death of two grandchildren to the raising of my special needs stepson, from divorce to an auto-immune disease.

The problem in 2004 was that I simply did not have the time between the health of my mother,a kidney stone, and the behavioral problems my stepson developed. In 2008, a cancer scare, on top of everything else, overwhelmed me! The stress generated by this and other things, made me seek an outlet. The computer graphics and digital art were not enough anymore, nor the poetry I wrote, not even all the web pages I had built. So, with a challenge from my daughter, and an unexpected break from my son...I began to paint.

I loved it...I found it soothed me, restored me, and challenged me; it gave me peace in my soul to paint and create. It is addicting in a way....I cannot imagine not painting, or at least sketching, every day! I am trying to make up for lost time I suppose, and want to learn all I can as fast as I can. I only have a limited number of years left to paint, since I waited to start painting till I was 57 to start to paint.

I have been told that I am a quick learner with a natural talent, that I had not known I had. You would have to be the judge of that, as I am my own worst critic!

So, here I am....displaying my artwork, and writing about my feelings, sharing some of my poetry. All courtesy of Blogger, and the ease of set up.

I will leave you with a poem, a photo, and part of a painting....


Miles pour out from under hot smoky tires;
the winds of time slipstream;
air and gases intermingle in the night;
the darkness rolls us along.

Reefers, covered wagons, skateboards, and gas pumps,
vans and pups form caravans;
disembodied voices in the night call out,
fading as east passes west.

Wit and banter, stupidity and wisdom
float on, some heard , most lost, as
north pulls away from south, through hills and valleys,
horizons stretch and recede.

Sunset and dawn superimpose and tangle;
hot and cold, rain and sere--
seasons pass on in seconds, unending vistas,
all changes, yet is the same.

Families wait, unseen, their presence in the cab
blends with lonely solitude;
music soars, rhythms flexing, crescendoing,
as tempos range far and wide.

Rock, country, soul and blues mix classical airs,
leaving tears and tapping toes;
feelings merge as lanes of superhighways do,
there, but ever left behind.

Warrior and cowboy, adventurers all:
lost souls, clowns, and romeos,
flirting, teasing, wanderers of the byways,
gamblers and heavy thinkers.

Tarps, chains, and straps, molding shapes of abstract art,
while shimmering lights outline,
forming shadows that flicker in the darkest hours,
rays of caution and of help.

Mounties, bears, and DOT, lie in ambush:
stealing time, and money too;
hold-ups as costly, bandits of a new era,
hazards of the present trail.

Log books and bills, replace the journals of old;
sail and oxen, gone for tires;
cargoes pre-sold, haggled over by brokers,
bid electronically.

Friends of the moment, news shared, handles exchanged,
comrades of the road;
with a see you on the flip side, my brother,
we may never meet again.

Yet in the dim light before dawn, the mist
of the present and the past,
converge together, echoing each other, as
the darkness rolls us along.


My favorite trucker, and his truck.