Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A large gap here....

Well, I can see that all the good intentions in the world do not always win out over life simply getting in the way. I had thought I would have lots of time to blog. Hey it's not like I have an outside I should have loads of time, right?

Somehow, that is not happening. I suppose all I can do is try.

Shortly after Bubba came home from his respite care, he had a doctor's appointment; just a regular checkup with his neurologist, a short discussion of his behavior, and a change in his meds to hopefully increase the good behavior and and decrease the combativeness and angry outbursts.

I had told you of some of the escapades last time, and that was before we knew the why. Let's just say it got much worse before it got better...but knowing WHY helped us put the Blame where it was due...sigh...but could not erase what happened!

Unfortunately, for all concerned the drugstore, made a small error, and gave him the wrong meds. Any of you who are familiar with a true ADHD child/adult, probably know that since you give them speed to slow them down...a tranquilizer can have the opposite effect than it does on the rest of the world. It tends to make them more hyper than fact it sends them climbing the walls!! And usually send you with them.

All is better now!! He is on the correct meds...and they are better! I have a caregiver again, and some time to get me back together!! Life is so much better than it was for awhile!

Anyway, I still feel like I am recovering from that. It definitely made for an 'interesting' time...NOT.

Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season are upon us, once again. And if we listen to the stores...they have been since long before Halloween this year. Somehow it has really gotten out of is so ridiculous to me. A month before maybe....but not 3...that is just dumb.

I do have good news, I have made a new friend!! So nice!!

Well, I have much to do for tomorrow, but I did want to let you know I am still here. Weary, but here!!

Here's a poem for your perusal....

OK God...

Ok is the question:
why Job.....why pain and suffering?
why the total unfairness of it all?

I mean, yeah....I guess I understand,
some of it anyway.....a little bit, but
why the weak and why more for them?

I see that even the lowest of us
have a saying...don't kick the dog
when he is already down...right?

Then why....why...why do You
let them have it again, and
again...right cross and then left.

Speaking of
you sure gave Your Son one of those
I mean....Your own Son?!

I know You never said that life
would be fair or anything.....but
it seems to me that this is a bit much.

I do know that I do not understand
I do not comprehend......the depth
of Your hurting those who love You.

You answer, with one hand giving,
and then the other one takes away,
and what have they got then.....nada?

You say the meek will inherit the earth,
but what is gonna be left of it....when
the strong ones destroy it first??

And blessed are those who mourn...
when is it, exactly, that they are
supposed to get and find that comfort?

I know....I know....I am no better than
the lowest of low....and who am I to
question anything that you do or say;

I just simply do not get it....I really do not
do not see the justice or mercy or joy
that is supposed to be a part of the package;

we laugh, we cry, we live.....and then we die.
And You,....what do You do while we
are down here doing and going thru' it all?

What is your part in all of this.....You
are supposed to be a father.....who loves
and cherishes us as beloved sons;

You even let Your own Son pain
hurting and beaten....crucified with criminals
and nothing to ease His suffering either.

It seems like all I see is justice for the strong,
and a big mess and wallow for the little
guy who sits down at the bottom of the heap.

I mean...You are the one who said it would
be worth it all in the end?....which end is that
You were talking about...ours or the world's?

Blessed are the peacemakers...or so You tell us;
but the only blessing I see is for those who use
the guns someone laughingly named that.

So answer me this.....just one answer....
when will it end?....with death for us all,
or just some of us....or will you intervene?

Be still You say?....quiet down with the questions...
just listen to your heart....and hear that your soul
rejoices in the still and KNOW who You are...

Are we too busy to listen....too busy asking why
to hear....too full of self-pity to feel the love...
too blinded by the world to let in the Light?


Happy Thanksgiving to all...we all have so much to be thankful for!!

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