Sunday, June 21, 2009

My shame and blame....

I am almost embarrassed to write anything was never my intentions to let such a long time pass. I want to tell anyone who actually follows my blogs, that I am in the process of combining the two...Dragonswhispers will be incorporated into this one. I just simply do not have the time or energy to do two. I hope everyone understands!

The last time I wrote, my husband Bob had had another heart incident. After a number of doctor visits, more tests, and alot of time...we found out that contrary to what we THOUGHT we had been told, he did have heart damage. They want to more, but at this point we are waiting. He also has changed trucking companies, because the company he worked for sold the trucking end of things. With the new company, he will probably be making less money...but at least at this point he is working!!

Bubba's behavior continues to have problems...tho' he is finally sleeping at night. He is back to having afternoon outbursts, that are frustrating. I am trying a few changes in his meds...but so far, all I can achieve is him sleeping too much. Just want to keep him on an even emotional keel, if I can.

His new caseworker is wonderful!! They play together...and seem to enjoy each is different than a babysitter, or a teacher...they are friends; they tease each other and laugh together alot!! We went thru' "heck" and fought for extra hours, because a few times in the outbursts, he actually came at me, and tried to hurt me. And he is still escaping occasionally, which is frustrating to have the local police come and get me...tho' I have met some of our neighbors. We are so afraid that he will get hurt when he is out wandering in the middle of the night; we are so far out in the country on a narrow road with no lights and maybe 12 houses on the 2.5 miles. There is alot of land that is owned by forestry companies...where there are bobcats, wild dogs, and according to some...panthers. There are at least two creeks with about 12-20 foot drops that have no guard rails, there have been a rash of break-ins on the road, and it has become a short cut for drunks, now that the county is no longer dry.

Well..we got 10 extra hours out of all of that...we spent 5 hours talking and explaining...for 10 hours....bringing us to a grand total of 90 hours a month. If someone came every day...that would be 2.9 hrs. But no one comes on the weekends, tho' his new caregiver will if I need her to. We really have to work to divide out the hours to try and include his 'worst' times of the day. Tho' now that it is sooo hot outside...we might need to do some rearranging, because he loves to be outside.

I have a feeling this would take way to long to fill you in on everything. So I am going to try and condense some of it. I have had some health problems, which are major to me...but minor in the long run. I have LS and now a prolapsed bladder, just to add to the fun. My osteoporosis and arthritis are working together to bring me alot of back and hip pain. But there is so much more that could be wrong...I try to remain thankful for all that I have!!

I had a birthday also while I was gone, not the usual, but maybe better in some ways...quoting from what I told some close friends, "...A large part of my birthday present this year, was the joy of having good friends!! It might be hard for you to understand, but one of the 'side effects' of my chemical imbalance and the depression it causes, is the inablitlity to 'feel' the love of others. One of the biggest joys in my life was the removal of that wall with medication!! I sometimes wish that it could have come earlier in my life, but to at last feel loved, cherished, cared about and for, is a gift I will treasure forever even if it took 48 years to receive it!"

Well, I need to finish this up and cook some dinner, even tho' it is late. I will truly try harder to keep up with this!! And thank you all for your patience!!

Here are some of new paintings....

This one was kind of I redid it. Hope you like it! "On the Rocks" 8x10 acryics on canvasboard.

This was my first try at modling paste and texturing...the trees are about 5/16th's higher than the canvas. The Birches...11x14 acrylics on wrapped canvas. It was also part of a class I took on trees.

The Birches were the summer tree...this is the second...a winter tree. The First Fall...11x14 acrylics on artboard.

This was a commission from a young girl who saw my work at a festival in Water Valley. It was for Mother's Day...which was the next day. I spent about 7 hours on it! Happy Mother's Day...8x10 acrylics on canvas paper.

This horse lives at the end of our street...I love I had to paint him! He still needs a few tweaks...especially his shoulder. Sandy....16x20 acrylics on wrapped canvas.

Hope you all have a wonderful evening!!!

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