Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Life Interferes

Wow...I am so sorry, that so very much time has passed. I cannot even come up with too many compelling reasons, tho' there are a few. My apologies to: The one and, Mark Mize, Lewistaft4317, and johnsmigh94065293...your comments were appreciated, and I am sorry for any let down involved in my lack of answers. I hope the following will help you understand what I have been just a bit busy with.

My mother took a serious fall down the attic stairs, in 2004, fracturing her back, her breastbone, lacerating the back of her head, and in general banging herself up pretty badly. This might not have been quite so serious, if she had not been 84 years old, and then had to lie there for somewhere around an hour before my dad came in from mowing the yard and found her. Since then, she has also been thru' surgery for a bowel obstruction, and has been diagnosed with cancer for the third time, this time in her liver, and maybe her lungs. She is too old for any kind of surgery or treatment, as it would kill her faster than just letting things go as they

Yet, she is tough, and is hanging in there. She has given us quite a few scares in the past 3+ years, but alot of joy also. I live too far away to see her as often as I would like, but I hitch a ride on my hubby's semi as often as it goes north towards Ohio. I recently started painting, and I am trying to do as many of her as I can NOW, so that I can enjoy capturing her; and then LATER, I wil have visual memories. She has been, my "hero", since I grew up; and got over all the dumb kid-type resentments, and silly middle child hurts. She is a wonderful woman, who truly was a supermom, in my eyes.

Then there was this little boy, who is now 21 years old in age. He is special needs, with multiple handicaps. He is one of those "things" that people try to tell me what to do about and how to do it. He is not the political side of things for the most part, tho' I am about to try and get alot more vocal with all of the politicians in the state of Mississippi and those who represent us in Washington D.C. There is a shortage of beds, and care, and aid for those of us who deal with children like my son. I know I am not the only one whose child has gotten too big and too strong for them to handle; or whose behavior has worsened with time from all the different syndromes and problems that beset him. It is not his fault that he is the way he is, nor is it mine, since I am his stepmother; not that I do not think of him as mine in all respects. Yet it was the alcohol and drugs while he was in utero that cause so very many of his problems. If there are those of you out there who are pregnant, and still drinking...not that "much" you say, and doing drugs...not the "hard ones" you say...well come and talk to me...and I will show you and tell you what it can and will cause. The baby literally lives in alcohol not water inside the uterus where it is pickled while developing; and the drugs, well, the neurological mess that can create on top of the other is not a pretty sight.

He is a wonderful child, in so very many ways. He has been a blessing from the first time I met him. Yet he is now, in an adult body, without the emotional ability to handle it. A challenge, YES, but one I have taken on out of love; but it is beginning to wear me out. I get a few hours a month when his dad is home off the road, and a few hours a week with a state provided caregiver; so I am more fortunate than some. I just get very tired. Which is why I simply forgot I started this blog. My mind does not function quite as well as it used to...without lots of notes to tell me what to do and when to do

Then there was my kidney stone, in October of 2006, my cancer scare in September of 2007...they kept me down and out for a bit; but the joy that came from the cancer scare was that I took up the challenge my daughter had laid down for me two years pick up a brush instead of a mouse. She forgot to tell me one to lay it back Of course, I can only paint if my son is asleep, at school (which most days he refuses to go to), or with his caregiver.

OH, and by the way....I get a few points, not enough to have skipped writing for 3 years, but maybe a few. My hubby and I quit smoking in August of 2006. In order to keep from backsliding, or going nuts over the lack of a stress reliever, I have cleared about 6-8 acres of the 16 we are living on. Just me, my battery operated saw, my hand saw, my clippers, and my rake...well...I do have a wheeled weedeater, that I have practically worn out, that helps too. My favorite spot is how the driveway looks now:
It does look good, but there is now alot more "lawn" (weeds, I suppose, but green when it is cut) to mow. I built a split-rail type fence all along the front acreage,because I got tired of burning all the pine trees we were thinning out.
It was alot of work, but I like how it looks.

Well....enough for today...I hope you will come back. I plan to write feelings and poetry type things in this blog; and if you want to see my paintings, you can look at my other blog:

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